Alex Jones and a severe case of Touretts

It’s not funny I could have been arrested!

My son had a few friends around yesterday as it was his Birthday. At about 10.30 we looked out of the window and saw quite a party outside. About 8-12 uniformed policemen, a couple of policemen in full riot gear, a fire engine with it’s crew, about three ambulances and a gas van.

After finding out that some poor bloke had “allegedly” threatened to go kamikaze on himself with a tin of lighter fluid they decided to evacuate the old folk, cut the gas off and invite the evening telegraph around for good measure. A bit harsh I thought, as all the poor bloke might of needed was a friendly ear. Instead he got riot police inviting themselves in to find him fast asleep on his bed – bless. It’s in the paper but I’m not going to prove it as I don’t want Bodie and Doyle to find out where I live (that was meant to be a joke – my apologies). Anyhow I looked out of my open bedroom window and saw all of those blokes in uniforms and I couldn’t help myself, I broke out into a major case of Alex Jones tourettes. “9/11 was an inside job – so was 7/7. Alex jones.com” etc.

I simply couldn’t help myself given the emergency services convention that had parked themselves in front of the window.

On having awoken to a dreadful hangover and the deep shame of realising I’ve just shown myself up in front of the evening telegraph and all, I feel very fortunate to having not been arrested for causing a breach of the peace my self or something. I now realise it would have been much better had I simply made them tea and had a polite word. In a way I’m sorry I didn’t now. That’ll teach me for inviting myself to my sons 19th and being drunk as well.

Now I know mixing policemen and beer brings on Tourett’s I shall try to avoid situations like it in the future.

I’d like to apologise for the manner in which I behaved but for telling the truth? You’ll have to shoot me first.

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