They say you shouldn’t wear your heart on your sleeve.

I remember sobbing to a policeman once that it felt like I’d been owned by the MoD from being a small baby up until this present day. Amongst the tears I done my best to explain why. From a grandfather in the Royal Navy to a father who served in the Tenth Royal Hussars to my stepfather it feels like there has been no escape. I guess the rest of my blog explains that. I’m only thankful the kind policeman didn’t accuse me of wasting his time.

To be honest it was one of the hardest yet I thought liberating things I’ve ever done, the poisonous puss that was eating away at me had finally been drained but whether I like it or not there are emotional scars that still and will always remain.

They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I think they might be right. I remember growing up what Thin Lizzy meant to me and the day I finally realised what their “Chinatown” album was all about, hence my first tattoo being the dragon from the cover of the album. Perhaps I got it so my stepfather could make a lamp shade with my mortal remains as a victory token of all he underhandedly fought for in emulation of his hero’s or perhaps I got it to remind me of exactly why I’ve had so much shit thrown at me over the years by his “minions” as he calls them occasionally.

So I went out shopping today for a suite of all things as the dogs slashed my old one in his bid to seek attention since I’ve started working and you’ll never guess what I came home with instead? Yep, another tattoo. I can’t explain Pamela’s barbed wire but I can mine. I don’t need to read about the horrors of concentration camps past nor those present, I just need to walk down every street and visit every pub to see big brothers surveillance camera’s looking back at me as a permanent reminder that they can keep tab’s on myself and absolutely everyone I meet. And that’s not paranoia on my part because they can clock you too. What on earth has our country turned into when democratically elected politicians can be arrested on a whim for doing there job’s yet those at the very top can sell our armed forces down the river for their own profiteering and nobody bat’s an eyelid?

Barbed wire? I’m not sure whether it’s to keep us inmate’s in or everyone else out? They put fluoride in your drinking water and it started out as a nazi experiment in the very concentration camps an entire generation of young men tried to liberate. They put mercury in your teeth yet it’s illegal to put it on a council rubbish dump because it is one of the most toxic substances know to man.

Apologies for the doom and gloom, it’s not all bad, as they say what doesn’t kill you can only make you stronger and were not dead yet!

Anyway this is my new tattoo just in case you want to recognise me and buy me a pint down the pub in defiance of big brother. It goes all the way around my arm and yes it did hurt, but not as much as waking up to the truth slapping me across the face!

Here’s a thought; if every heroin addict in Grimsby (GB) knows that “the drug’s are in” because the dealers let off fireworks to let them know, why haven’t the police cottoned on? I’ll let you work that one out for yourself!

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